Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Keeping the positive side

Best Selling Author
Bernadette Marie
It wasn't so long ago that you'd hear me say the word "hate" before almost any sentence.  "I hate school. I hate that dress.  I hate my body.  I hate that."  Yes, this was me.  What an ugly word. I was young.  Newly married.  Desperate to have a baby.  I was hanging out with old friends that I'd grown up with.  Trouble makers, no.  Deviants? No.  Gossips...this is summed up with OMG!

It was brought to my attention at a wedding a of a friend that my outlook on life sucked.  While sitting among friends I hadn't seen in a long time and their spouses we were catching up.  Inevitably the conversation steers to, "I saw so and so  at the store the other day.  Did you know they got married..."  Typical conversation, right?  However, my negative self would reply, "Well, did you hear that they..."  Again, OMG!!!

One of my friend's husbands, whom I really didn't know well looked right at me and in front of all my friends, my husband, and my mother said, "Do you only know the negative things about people?"

WOW!  Talk about a come to God moment.  Lightning bolt to the head.  A slap across the face.  This was exactly what I was doing, idle gossip with  no purpose.  I spent the rest of the reception with my head down, mouth closed, and heart squeezing because I looked like an idiot.

It didn't take much more to learn my lesson.  In sixteen years you haven't heard the word hate come from my lips.  It's a nasty word.  And in my home, of now five sons, its a four letter word that is not said by any of us.  Idle gossip has no place in my life.  If you choose to share it with me I listen, but I don't have to reply.

This very significant moment in my life taught me I needed to hang out with people who were a bit more positive.  I began to do that.

At the time I owned a small salon.  I began to gather friends who had like interests, who wanted to build a business, who wanted to help me along the way.  From there I began my family, started direct sales companies, and again, began to build relationships with like minded, motivated people.  In the past sixteen years I have revamped my life.  I want your successes for you as much as I want my own.  I want you to feel as good about yourself as I do about myself.  And idle gossip is a thing of the past.  I surround myself with bright thinkers.  Positive thinkers.  People who take care of themselves and will take care of you too if you needed it.

Heading into my 40th year I look around me and I'm pleased with what I've built.  Businesses. Careers. I've lived out many of my childhood dreams, and I continue to do so every day.  In this year I will become a second degree black belt.  Every day I tie on that belt I smile.  I can't believe that is me!  There is no room in this world for hate, not even for the word, because soon enough it begins to become you.

Gone are the days when I had friends only because I'd known them a long time.  Now are the days I seize the moment to find a new friend and have another positive moment in my life.

To those friends I've lost because I was petty, maybe you could give me another try.  To my new friends, thank you for being the positive crowd I needed.  To those I've yet to meet, I want only the best for you.  Let's take the world by storm and make it a wonderful place to live!

Drop hate from your words, from your hearts, and from your way of living.  Open yourself up to the greatness that is in you and in others.  When you feel the negative come along, only you can make it go away.  Is every day easy? No, but it doesn't have to beat you down either.  When you feel like slashing out at the world on Facebook or Twitter, write it and then delete and put good out into the universe.  I'm here to tell you it'll come back to you.

Have a Positive Day!
Bernadette Marie


  1. Wow - how interesting that you're blogging about this today. Talk about a theme for today!
    I just ran into a coworker friend, and she mentioned she was going to try to not say anything negative for a week. Noble task, that! I applaud her, just as I applaud you and your resolution toward the positive.
    In a show of support for my friend, I told her I'd try to not say anything negative for the rest of the day.
    I think I blew it within the first five minutes, or are cuss words exempt? *grin*
    Good for you, B. Surround yourself with what you will, because in the end, it's your life and you're the one that's got to live it. And living positive is so much brighter!

  2. Thank you Lori. You are my friend and you know girls can get caddy, but I hope that my positive lifestyle comes through more than my negative. AND if I can get one person to motivate themselves to see the good and not the bad, my job is done :) Have a GREAT day! (curses happen btw) :)

  3. Excellent blog today :) Elam wrote a step-by-step paper for LA last week. The 4th step was to have a positive attitude about learning, being curious about something made it easier to learn, and to be happy when someone finds a mistake in your work so you can get it right! LOL - now if he would only "practice" what he espouses ;) Congratulations on your 2nd Degree Black Belt. Elam wants to come up to Breckenridge on that Sunday to see your new belt and to support his friend Alex who is also testing! Have fun!

  4. Having a positive attitude is the only way to go through life. May not seem possible to some people, but it is amazing what happens to you, around you, for you. No, life is not always easy or fair-but your actions/reactions can and do make a world of difference. Stay positive my busy friend.

  5. I think it's amazing that you took an experience that embarrassing, took a good look at yourself, and made such an amazing change. We only grow when we learn to turn that critical eye inside.

  6. Thank you Lori. I appreciate your kind words :)