Saturday, August 31, 2013

I give you permission to...

"No more running. I give you permission."

Let me tell you those were some of the greatest words I've heard lately. I am so proud to be a martial artist. I worked my fanny off (my 30 year old + fanny) for 8 years. I had my first sports related injury, requiring crutches and an ER visit at 33. I was pretty proud of myself. I went from a white belt, 33 year old mother of 5, to a second degree black belt. I did really good.

At the age of 40 my knees aren't the same. I never had good I really don't. Jumping in mid air-and let's admit it- with the best job in the world came 20 pounds I shouldn't have gained. But when you're doing what you love, sometimes you sit a lot. Then let's top that off with 5 kids-all martial artist-all competitive hockey players. Again-let's add- this year we have 4 hockey teams (3 kids have practice 4 nights a week, 2 kids have practice 2 times a week.) This means 4 games. One is a travel team and my hubby is doing some game running on Saturdays. With 4 kids there are 5 choirs and 4 instruments being played. Something had to give this year. It was our martial arts.

It took me almost a year to say aloud, we are done. Mind you the martial arts mind set isn't gone. Just the process of the classes and the testing. But on that day, after nearly a year, I was free. There was a burden, not martial arts, but the burden of making excuses for myself. I'd given myself permission to move on.

I am now working with a trainer to get back in shape. She's also a physical therapist. I told her I wanted to get strength in my knees so I could run. She preceded to tell me that running and I don't mix. She gave me permission to not run. Well in my head I was thinking for 8 years I had to run. I had to do this...I had to do that. Not that I had to...that I made myself. All she did was give me permission to change my thinking.

OH WOW! Fresh new start!

I think about all the successes we have as people that we just throw out to the curb and we don't enjoy them because we're not given permission to enjoy them and move on. I was so anxious needing to run that I forgot to enjoy the 8 years of what I had accomplished. (And anyone who knew me 8 years ago will tell you I'm not the person you'd meet today.)

Authors, on the day our books come out we think so hard that someone is going to shoot us down and tear us apart we forget to take that moment to enjoy what happened. We wrote a book. We edited a book. And now that book, which was very private to us, is out there and everyone can enjoy it. Instead we are looking at numbers and hoping one person doesn't hate it. One person will. Know that going in.

Look at our kids. We are so busy raising them and toting them around we sometimes forget to enjoy the moment we are in. In the middle of chaos, if you take a moment, you'll find your kids are really funny--oh and did I mention SMART!!!  Some of the things my kids say to me bowl me over. Wow...I think they'll do okay when I'm gone.

So here I am, a former martial artist turned bestselling romance author and the publisher of many other bestsellers finding joy in not running. I have permission not to run.

So this is for all of you fretting about something. I give you permission to forget about it for a moment. I give you permission to walk away from your computer and go play Xbox with your kids...who cares if you just push buttons. You have my permission to go for a walk to unwind. But, you don't need my permission. You can give it to yourself. So I give you permission to remember that.

Enjoy your life! Be happy!
Bernadette Marie


  1. Thank you for the permission. It wasn't until you gave it to me that I knew I needed it. I need to thank you for that, and I don't know how.

    Would you mind if I were to write a blog post about this and link back to your blog post?


    1. I think that would be great! When you do let me know. I look forward to reading it. :-)